| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 |
| 7:50 pm |
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| Saturday, November 14th, 2009 |
| 10:11 pm |
during todays walking meditation I found myself struggling very hard with being patient we live next to a very busy street, so as I am taking very slow and diliberate steps, cars and people are constantly rushing by and it gets hard to move at my own pace when everyone else is moving so fast and hard to not focus on how slow and silly I must seem yet I am still moving with intention |
| Sunday, November 1st, 2009 |
| 10:26 pm |
solitude: day three
Halloween was probably one of the best I've had in years. so much fun....which kinda makes me sad because I know if Juan was in town I probably wouldnt have had as much fun...man thats depressing... anyways The night was as perfect as it could have been: I didnt get horribly drunk and make out with strangers( though I had a long conversation with one...which is kinda bad because now they might like me more than they should...) or say anything remotely stupid, unflattering or downright mean( although I did call some girls sluts...sorry girls. I know you think Halloween is the one night when you can dress like a slut and not get called one, but I am ruthless and will call you one anyway, I apologize) my energy is funky today. I think I need to take the next few days to clear my head and get grounded. I am going to lock my television in the closet from tomorrow until wednesday(when Juan gets back) to prevent using it as a crutch for my loneliness. Finished my Dia de los Muertos altar space and enjoy it very much I am balancing between the positive and the more shadowy sides of life( and watched the entire second season of Twin Peaks for inspiration) last week was a hard one for me and I am glad it is over and ready to start anew Happy New Year to my pagan brothas and sistas May this year will be better for us all... Current Mood:  hopeful |
| Sunday, October 25th, 2009 |
| 7:26 am |
Mike
today would have been your 25th birthday. |
| Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 |
| 9:55 pm |
the new schedule
my new way of coping with my recent depressive episodes is to incorporate more structure into my life. I understand this has more to do with control during times of emotional chaos then with an actual need for structure(which I already have lots of) but hey, it's better then killing myself... the most important aspect of this new schedule is to devote certain amounts of time to both writing and art/craft. These are two areas of my life that I realize now need to be made priorities as they help regulate stress and manage my emotions. from now on tuesdays and thursday will devote 3 hours to writing mondays, and thursdays will have hours devoted to art and craft saturdays, sundays and friday evenings are *free choice* so any additional writing and art can also be done then I am hoping that by making these things more important and worthy of time, I will be able to get into a pattern of devoting more time and energy to them...because in all honesty I feel like they are more important then both my job, and relationship(believe me, if I could get laid and paid through doing my art, I most certainly would!!!) Current Mood: amused |
| Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 |
| 7:42 am |
IWPS run down
I am so glad that I went to Berkeley this past week, but I sincerely dont think I was there for long enough. It felt like just when I had said 'hI" to everyone, it was time to go :( I didnt get to have the conversations I wanted to have with people I did what I had to do, and was inspired beyond belief. My IWPS list of favorite things is short because I only got the see the tail end of it all. Here are some of the things I remember... - getting to hang with Karen G was awesome. Loved the cuddles :)
- seeing Mia...she's getting so big!
- walking from venue to venue the first night...which was kinda hard because I kept getting "sucked in" to the bouts but then wanted to go and check out the other ones as well! arg!
- 6 is 9: I have heard his name for a couple of years and he did not disappoint...damn. great stuff. Like seriously inspired me to write more...
- the wonderful and amazing Amy Everhart!! It was sooo great to see her win. Her stuff was off the charts awesome and I just want to devour her poetry with a spoon...
- "Rape: the musical"....? (ask me personally and I will give my opinion on this one...right now, I'm not touching it with a ten foot pole)
- the afterparty...which ended way too soon...and with the wrong song..."Lets go crazy" should be at the start of the night, right?
- Lee.Lee.Lee.Lee. You get your own category because, well, youre you.
- stressing out and getting prepared for something someone asks you to do only to be told a half hour later you wont get to do it because of silly things(again, ask me personally and I will tackle this one...)
- my adidas boots
- the double take everyone did when they realized I was me...I mean damn people! Do I really look that different?
- Bundy, Jay Lee, Kat Sanford, Rob, Jason, Mike, Kevin; it was good to see you all.
I hope the portland scene gets it's act together so I can see everyone again next summer. be well, everyone thank you Current Mood: hopeful |
| Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 |
| 9:45 pm |
last night I dreamed Juan and I got into a car crash and the car went off a bridge into the river below it was wet outside, and the roads were slippery I told him he not to drive so fast, but he didnt listen... |
| Thursday, September 24th, 2009 |
| 7:20 pm |
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| Thursday, September 10th, 2009 |
| 7:34 pm |
crap city
so the car is literally on its last legs that is, it's overheating if I drive it more than 20 minutes or so and I have to fill it with water/coolant every single time I drive it(even if its for a couple of blocks...as I discovered today when it overheated literally 5 blocks away from work) I saw this coming, but this problem has to be solved...like NOW I am taking it in to get it checked and see how much ca$h it's gonna cost to fix it and then weight that against how much it would cost to actually buy a new or gently used car. I wish I didnt need a car, but since I dont live in the "city" it's not exactly possible I wish it was December so my least would be up and we could move out.... ....can I last without a car for three months? |
| Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 |
| 4:02 pm |
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| Friday, August 14th, 2009 |
| 2:00 am |
I am constantly amazed by how the ebb and flow of life works: this morning the parents of one of my students gave me a very very generous bonus $$$ I was shocked by this, but elated nonetheless This combined with the fact that I will be getting a substantial raise this fall which makes me want to stick around at my job a little while longer... then I get home to find a letter from the landlord that they want to charge us an extra $100 for literally paying our rent on time (it's along story, but basically, I canceled a check I had sent and sent another before the rent was due. Now they are charging $25 for the canceled check and $75 for a "late" payment...which is only late because they decided not to cash the second check I sent...) *sigh* sometimes the tides move to quickly for me to enjoy... Current Mood:  restless |
| Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 |
| 8:05 pm |
I just heard that "they" are planning on remaking "the secret of NIMH" and I am devestated :( why? why? why? |
| Saturday, July 25th, 2009 |
| 8:28 am |
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| Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 |
| 5:56 pm |
pondering....
<input ... ></input><input ... > - a career change
- buying a house
- slam stuff
- where to go for dinner
- enjoying my life instead of going through the motions
(ps: we did well last night. bittersweet considering we won't be at Nat's this year. Portland is back on the map: officially) |
| Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 |
| 11:26 pm |
team meeting #2 went well feeling pretty good. like my make-shift companions more and more. feeling lucky enough to buy a lottery ticket |
| Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 |
| 7:32 am |
dear MTV I heard it through the grapevine that you may be making a television version of "Teen Wolf". I must advise you not to do this. Inspirational Teenage Werewolf movies could only work in the 80's so stop trying so hard to be "cool". I know all the young folk these days are trying to be all "retro" but let's face it, you're never going to come close to the brilliance of the original film(as is evident in the trainwreck that was "Teen Wolf Too")
furthermore, you will be killing the part of me that used to pretend to be Scott Howard while I played with my best friend in preschool. I never got to see the animated TV show, so my palate is pretty sensitive.
so please please please dont do this
you know the show will only last a season anyway
young folks these days are fickle
so let the older folks keep their childhood memories.
|
| Wednesday, July 1st, 2009 |
| 6:50 am |
so the portland-misfits converged last night for our first team meeting. It was actually pretty awesome to be around a bunch of creative-types again. we did the normal team meeting stuff and read our "strongest" pieces to one another and discussed some team pieces ideas. even though portland officially doesnt have a qualifying slam, at the very least I am hoping that this is the beginning of a scene around here. from what I hear it's been a slam ghost town for years. as a group, we gel very well and all seem pretty open to new ideas. Hopefully, by next summer we will have something more established and regular to these parts in time for Nats. Be warned. Current Mood: hopeful |
| Saturday, June 27th, 2009 |
| 7:39 pm |
things to be happy about:
- ice cream
- saturdays
- a hotel with a swimming pool
- applause
- petting zoos
- bubbles
- road trips
- fingerpaints
- diving boards
- water balloons
- fruit stands
- held-open doors
- no agendas
- stepping off the plane
- good listeners
- friends who call just to say "Hi"
- remembering your umbrella
- seeing results
- a full refridgerator
- dancing with strangers
- a good first date
- accepted apologies
- wild flowers
- not getting caught
- driving with no destinations
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009 |
| 5:52 pm |
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| Saturday, June 13th, 2009 |
| 12:40 pm |
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